Quieter day; physically very tired after trip to Manchester. Went to see Dr Lovely, was feeling OK but could feel myself getting overexcited. Had a quiet day out in town, sat by the sea and read – this was good for me, I think. Satisfied need for Acquiring New Things by joining the town library and taking three books out. Another one by Kay Redfield Jamison, ‘Touched With Fire’, about artists, composers and writers affected by mood disorders. Also a biography of Virginia Woolf, I want to know more about her illness, especially as it before there was much medication available. And lastly a dreadful ‘Mental Illness in the Family’ type thing. Maybe it will help. I know she’s really struggling right now and I feel horribly guilty about that.
Went out in the evening to the cinema, became very panicky about getting out on time, not least because I’d Lost My Watch. Losing My Watch makes me very anxious indeed. It’s not a sentimental thing, in fact I would love another one to replace this one, a gift from a former girlfriend. I just like the feeling of it round my wrist. In the past Twinkle has suggested wearing a bracelet or something but it doesn’t seem to work.
Anyway, the film, ‘Hostel 2′ was horrific. I mean, I knew it wasn’t going to be a Disney but it was sick and I could feel myself getting overstimulated and agitated and properly disturbed by it so I went upstairs to the Art Centre bar and Moo came over to meet me and brought my Lorazepam. Then we went into town for a little while and I wanted to dance but everyone wanted to go home for work etc this morning. So I stayed out with other friends but they were quite dull and it wasn’t much fun. Came home and went straight to sleep.

[crossposted]